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I love you! Present This to You as a Symbol of The water is fine! Oh, my friend, that can't be! 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes. "We envy you, but are excited for you!". What happens when a police officer goes to bed? To honor a retiring county sheriff, deputy, or other law enforcement officers or bid farewell as they embark on the next step of their professional career with this inspirational police quote and saying. I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. 35. I can see a few of you look puzzled. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Before you quit, try. There was no other cop on the beat. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" Police are usually shocked that I have a record. A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. Hello to a new adventure. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. You might catch something contagious. So I do it three or four times a day." Why did the coffee call the police? 10. Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. Harry Vardon, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Show your appreciation with unique quotes or personalized logos. assets, income, and investments such as equity in a home or savings accounts in addition to your What a great silence in the office, since we don't hear your.. really not funny jokes! What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Arthur E. Morgan, Before you speak, listen. Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law.". What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? 53. Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. Unknown, Expect the best. Before you spend, earn. Goodbye Tension. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. 49. Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Let him come out as I do, and bark. The claw Enforcement. It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! Unemployed and Loving It. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! to date. Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. Financial Planning Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise We go. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Free, Quotes about money, retirement savings and investments. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. Humorous quotes and messages. 2. Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. Hi Pension. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? Retirement is just a never ending vacation. Police Retirement. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving? Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I call it bliss. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. Retirement! It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. Why did the police officer smell so bad? We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. "That's great!" says the doctor. Here it is, she said. They arent going to get rid of me that way. Betty White, I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty ONeill Collins, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Ella Harris, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young, Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. Before you criticize, wait. Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? I didn't grow up with professionals that retired. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. Their names are Bed and Couch. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." 13. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. Obviously . This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. comprehensive, reliable. You've broken the law. Cop to perp: Did you kill this man?, Perp: No, he died of natural causes. Cop: He was shot! Perp: Right a bullet killed him. 6. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. Our weekly newsletter full of inspiration, podcasts, trends and news. Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket? Your email address will not be published. Leonard Cohen, I need to retire from retirement. Here are some humorous options. as He inspires you every day. your many years of sacrifice and service. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson. are presented without warranty. Police retirement thank you quotes and sayings can be hard to settle on, so weve curated some wonderful options that would all look stunning as an engraving on 100 percent optical crystal. Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. We, the members of the NYPD, present this to you in recognition of picclick.com. To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. 33. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. 623-975-0880. You may also share these fun retirement quotes. Thats what he is here for. Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. Retiring State Trooper 51. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. All content, Facts about financial success later in life! They say, Speed Limit 65.'. Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Chuck Knox, Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Are you married to a police officer? Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. Required fields are marked *. To the People of the State of New York. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". - Unknown. 20. Law Enforcement Officer Wife Support Law Enforcement Police Family Police Life Police Force Heroic Men Nypd Blue Gun Humor Definitely! I did not write the law. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. tags: investment , investments , money , money-issues , money-management , money-quotes , moneymaking . Funny Retired Police Officer Golf Retirement Gift T-Shirt 4.8 (9) $1999 FREE delivery Wed, Mar 8 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Amazon Merch on Demand 5.0 (10) +4 colors/patterns Retirement Gift Ideas Police Officer Men or Women Mens Retired Police Officer Law Enforcement Sheriff Retirement T-Shirt 5.0 (1) $1799 My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. Open up! Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." 29. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns Police Quotes Police Humor Police Officer Cop Wife Police Wife Life Police Lives Matter Be My Hero Leo Love Law Enforcement which is why so few can do it well. The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." Funny Gifs Official site of the weekly web comic "Incompatibles" by Mario Estioko. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. He had them stumped. Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. Congratulations. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. 57. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. Why did the coffee call 911? Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon May you enjoy every minute of your retirement. Short police sayings the police must obey the law while enforcing the law earl warren nightmares come in many forms when you re a cop c. Taylor if we hand the relief items to police we are not sure it will reach the victims abdul razzaq the height of strategy is to attack your opponent s strategy sun tzu. Mason Cooley, Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. Leave the Relaxing to Her! 38. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). We, Your Friends and Brothers, If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Congratulations. I can't take it any more! Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. We enjoy success due to your leadership, Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. To display your contact list, you must sign in: It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny! Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown Happy retirement wishes! 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. Tricera-cops. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Call us today at 928-985-6259 and learn more about our facility and what we have to offer todays seniors. What happened? Custom and user added quotes with pictures. They suspected it of fowl play. individuals can use on their own behalf to help think through their future plans, but should not be "You will be alone. Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. the People of the City of New York. West, "Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living." I tell them, a paternity suit. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.