I begged mi amor to reconsider, I proposed to her 3 days before she had the abortion. June 1, 2021 2:30 PM EDT. We have been having the same unprotected sex as we were while still together. But I'll also give you plenty of hugs and kisses Took the first pill today to block the hormones. My boyfriend was completely supportive of me and even now when I talk about the baby he knows that it makes me feel better. i know its just rational thinking, but it still hurts a lot. He reminds me every day and he is resentful towards me like Im some kind of murderer. or There might be days when I'm a bit naughty Someone please talk and guide me into a direction. I made the decision to get an abortion at 8weeks. I will make my decision within the next 2 weeks. Why cant we have our dreams and a baby? Im not pregnant. I went into the first floor bathroom and peed on that little white-tipped stick. Yes, he did everything he was supposed to and yes the tests afterwards declared him sterile. Maybe you feel as if your world has been turned upside-down. I havent spoken to my parents yet. But I begged her not to go, I pleaded at times crying on the phone. I know it was the right decision but I regret every moment of it even to this day. There are no other words. Im in exactly the same situation as you and just dont know what to do. All I ask of you is your love and a chance to love you back. The last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. My heart is breaking but I cant have another child on my own. I walked back to the preschool where I work with ten minutes to spare and decided, Ill just do it now. I am unable to have children, so I will never know what it feels like, but I share your pain through the experiences of others. All the best. So please mommy, don't let me down. but something I think people needed to read. Both in you, as a memory, and in heaven as a person, for eternity. She wrote this piece to destigmatize abortion and to offer a story of strength and hope to women and men alike. Now it is 3 months later and I always find myself looking at bassinets and baby items. The dad and I had talked about having another child after 3.5 yrs. ? We dont say any words, but our embraces tell each other that we did the right thing. I'll sing loudly in my first school concert Would you call that dad-approved? And I don't need a room filled with toys. I feel like the biggest failure in the world. Sometimes I still feel her, I pray that shes come back. Im the same, my partner cant understand why it still or ever did sadden me, he says it was too early no heartbeat, for that reason he does not feel what I feel, I cry alone, still. Ill always be one. My advice to you would be to remember that at the end of the day, and your life, you have to be able to live with yourself, so forget about what your partner wants and do what is right for you. My eyes fixate on her belly, and I sob. Im confused and feel horribly alone. Im very open about discussing this, but its been difficult. Would adoption be something you could manage? Your state requires that one of your parents be told of your decision 48 hours before your abortion. This moved me. No matter how much support one has, it can so easily feel like you are going through it alone. A young woman writes an open letter to the child she is about to abort and posts it online.. I got into a relationship with the man I grew up with and within 8 months I became pregnant with our first child. Please Mommy, don't let them hurt me- I am a teacher and take care of infants to two year olds, Im devastated because in a better situation I would have kept this child. Gone by The Head and The Heart plays, and I publicly cry at the lyric Gone are the days when the wind would touch my face, gone are the days when youre the wind. I feel like a failure for being the one who could not be seen as a wonderful choice to raise a baby with. I dont know what to do, I know exactly how you feel . American liberals are debating the merits of "after birth abortion." On 29 July 2015, the unreliable web site Conservative Post published an article titled "Liberals Debate . Weve trien for 8 yeats now and decided that if I turned 30 which is Dec of this year and I am not pregnant, we will give up. Im grateful I was in a position to have options and make a choice as a woman. Oh, Honey. I m 21 years old and just find out that I m pragnant for 2-3 weeks. Listen to your heart, there is no wrong choice. I feel like you put my experience and feelings into words. I support her no matter what her decision is but ultimately I feel like she is too young to make the rest of her life set and stone. During that time, I had to learn a lot about our choices were, and I didnt want to scroll past your comment without sharing some of that knowledge. I want this baby, but I know financially we wouldnt be able to afford it. The first line showed up dark pink as it always did, and then, suddenly, a faint second pink line emerged. I really did not want to get rid of my baby and I knew that in my heart, but somehow logic (or what I thought sounded logical) overpowered my emotions. It was also great that you had someone to give you a choice. I did an abortion 10 years ago and never disclosed to my them boyfriend who is now my husband. It takes courage to share your story, especially with so much honesty. All I can think about is that Ill no longer be able to turn to her when I feel like doing something that stupid teenagers do. I recently found out I was pregnant after having a late period. I too, am at the beginning of my career and am receiving more opportunities to advance as well but I have a long way to go. It all means the same thing. Thank you so much for this. Ang, your situation is same as mine. In a saline abortion procedure, caustic saline solution was injected into the mother's womb. I was overjoyed but crushed the next day after he told me we werent ready and that I should get rid of it. I was in a a similar position. Even my close friends dont know this time. Im 9 weeks, and he pretends like it does not exist. I love this story. Im so confused. I wish I could have kept you, but I know our lives wouldnt have been what you deserve. I am thinking of you xx. I did have a moment of sadness and what ifs but ultimately I was so sick( 7 weeks 4 days) I could not wait to get it over with! Whitney. But its only 5 weeks so its nothing more then a pack of cells still, right? I felt like he had to know it is his right to know. I paced the bathroom, test in hand, pants still around my ankles, repeating curses to myself like a meditative mantra. This is your decision and you must do what feels right for you. I was six weeks pregnant . All stories are moderated before being published. I n 1967, when Governor Ronald Reagan made California the third state in the union to liberalize its abortion laws, his hesitancy about doing so was clear from the start . Jocelyn Miller is a Montessori teacher in San Francisco who spends her weekdays supporting the growth, development, and independence of young children. I just keep crying. Maybe you're worried about money or becoming a mother or just getting through tomorrow. "But I could hear her cry. Only a few days have gone by since I was conceived and I am now growing in your tummy. He is also younger than me and nowhere near ready for a child and even moving in with me makes him scared. I didnt want anyone in the world to have my baby, I didnt want the guy that knocked me up to have my baby and I also felt a little pushed by his mother to have the abortion so instead of keeping him or her for myself I killed my baby. My husband has made this time incredibly difficult for me. Anyway. 2. I love this man but i dont want a baby now and i feel the worst human being in this world for thinking that way. That exact day I started bleeding I went to the ER and they said I might miscarry again I told him and he is convinced I am going to lose the baby. And way farther along than I thought. This resonates with me. We argued and I prayed on it. This post hit home for me. You may wonder why I say she.. I want my baby so much but my family are pushing for a termination as I should be having a child when the timing is right. I know my future would never have turned out as well as it had, had I not had the abortion :). I have tried to persuade her to look at forums or see a psychiatrist to help her through the guilt but she doesnt want to be associated with the stigma attached with it. All I could say was 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry.' As a mother, you never, ever, ever forget. My younger half sister is also pregnant with a girl which I always thought I would have. I'm speaking. How I wish I was brave enough to shrugged off the opinion of other people,my friends and family. The worse I got the more my boyfriend managed to show up and take care of me. People will yawn when they are bored of you. Because o hate that its a decision. Surfing helps, but I know the best thing for healing is time. I dont want one. She was already the mom of a young girl and in an abusive relationship. The month before was the most emotionally and physically exhausting of my life. Im so confused and torn between getting an abortion or keeping the baby. He met my dad. no one is on my side. Nine nights later, the night before the appointment, I go to sleep the same way I have every night since I found out about you: heartbroken and tearful. I immediately was overcome with fear! Top human rights organizations are calling on the United Nations to intervene over the destruction of abortion rights in the US.. She wrote this piece to destigmatize abortion and to offer a story of strength and hope to women and men alike. If you can handle a child, have it. My name is also Ashley and im also at the 10 year mark. Fathers should never be bored of their children. I feel like Im losing either way; if I get an abortion, Ill most likely regret it, and if I dont, Ill struggle as a single mother. Hes worried our quality of life will suffer for the whole family. And so, we eat our burritos, filling ourselves with reality and carne asada. Xx. Im always hunted by guilt almost everyday, same as you Im also working in Nursery school, so I always see kids that reminds of my poor one. We use protection and still Ive ended up pregnant once more. You can do more than you think you can. I feel she was a girl. Im mad as hell (still) that we took steps responsible steps steps that have to be repeated! Unfortunately my health started to take a turn for the worse. However I was with a married man who did not want this and it was an accident. Your dad looks at me and then the tests before putting them down, one in my lap and the other in his, but it falls in between us how symbolic. I dont understand how someone who has children already, can be so selfish and cold hearted. We dont regret it. Hello Mommy, this is me, your baby- The copyright of all poems on this website belong to the individual authors. She gave her baby girl up for adoption, and now that baby is an adult. I'll be able to hear the sound of your voice. I cried every day leading up to me making a decision, and I set the appointment for the very next day after I decided so that I would not have much time to change my mind. What makes us experts in Online Poetry Publishing? I love him I know I do but I also know he does not feel the same way for me. I go to sleep the same way I have every night since I found out about you: heartbroken and tearful. Im sad, but dont regret it. We don't need to live in a big fancy house, I just hope that I can. Im doing my final major project in my fashion degree and want my final collection to be inspired by my experience. For some reason, Im not moved, but still, I dont want to lose you. Hi Mikal, I understand how torn you feel. After a further 2 weeks things started to settle down. I too am going through my second one and I feel absolutely horrible, so I completely understand what you are feeling. I always imagine what he or she would have looked like and I feel I failed my child. I need to make my mind ??? I miss my baby constantly. And when that day comes, well both be ready. I was 5 weeks and didnt know it. WASHINGTON The Biden administration on Monday told hospitals that they "must" provide abortion services if the life of the mother is at risk, saying federal law on emergency treatment. I too had an abortion a couple of days ago 1/10/20. Tears and snot are running down my face as I write this, I have 2 beautiful little girls after this and it hasnt got any better. 4. We talked all weekend, tried finding ways to make it work but we both knew it wasnt the time because of so many factors, the big ones being my health and finances. What if I still had no money, no stable place to live? My husband does not want another child. The emotions you displayed in this article made me cry because it is exactly how I feel. Financially we are already tight. I dont want to undo my choice, but its still so hard to live with sometimes. As opposed to most elective . He doesnt mean too, hes just a consummate bachelor annnnddddd.damn it. I feel for you. I would give anything to have my baby back. He keeps trying to make me have the child and give my child full custody and I feel like he wants to rob me because I cant afford to have a child of my own. You are raising two kids of his first marriage and the least he can do is to man up and respect your decision of keeping this baby. We want to expand our family but we werent expecting to do it so soon. Considered his feelings but ultimately decided I wasnt going to to do it. Leet had an abortion at age 15 in the early 1980s. I look for my child for twenty years but I was never able to get pregnant again . My heart is so crushed. I had one 7 years ago and my one and only. I know God and His angels will help. To cheer you up when you're sad. Me and my boyfriend have our own issues and this time he wanted me to keep this baby but I told him Im not ready to become a mother. I just found out I am pregnant at 42. My periods had always been very irregular and I had taken over the counter tests when it got late but I got negatives the both times so I was certain I wasnt pregnant. When he parks in front of my school, in front of parents carrying in their babies and small children, I call Planned Parenthood and schedule an abortion for ten days from now. Letter to My Child - Abortion Memorial What is the Abortion Memorial? Hi guys im 24 yrs old. Jocelyn, I cant thank you enough for sharing your story. .. thank you so much for this. So thank you, next week Im going for it, as difficult as it is, as much as I want this child and already love him/her I have to be realistic and also ask, what kind of life would I be offering this child. On the day of the appointment I cried so much I couldnt get myself to do it and as time went on I decided to keep him. I need advice from someone, anyone. I have an ultrasound which tells me you are a five-week-and-two-day-old single embryo. I just felt I needed more time to see other heart specialist and doctors to figure out what can be done about my heart before I have another child. Dont forget the chips! I waited for him on the couch in our front room, digging my thumb into the ridge of my index finger on both hands. Your dad is an alcoholic. And while sometimes they are not always as sensitive to the subject as Id like (not on purpose) it feels so relieving to tell someone. Then I panicked more I hadnt even thought about how I had a choice to make, and how this didnt only involve me, it involved your dad, too. If my partner would of came to me and said he wanted to keep this baby I would have and I would of felt more love for him because his courage. Hes basically ignoring me emotionally but talking to me civil. Since I found out I was pregnant my life has been a living hell my husband immediately voiced we couldnt handle this right now, and though I was emotional about it at first, I knew he was right. I still do. My bf convinced me we werent ready. I just wanted to let you know that the decision I made was very painful and still hurts at times but that it does get easier especially if you know you made it for the right reasons. It always feels unfair that the times I get pregnant, I had to terminate the pregnancy. I am totally against abortion. The doctor leaves and your dad and I hold each other and cry. Its not being selfish if you think about it deeper. He would have been 7 and his name was Dyno. We sleep in the same room that night, and the next day he drives me to work. He told me to decide between him and the baby and he would leave. I dont know what to do but I see no way out of this. To be honest, the abortion probably saved my life. If you know you arent ready for this trust yourself. It will be 8 years since my abortion in July and I still think about it every day. It was my first pregnancy, my husband is deployed, and I just happened to be going through this process physically alone (minus a couple friends there for support). I was 6 weeks when I went for an ultrasound .. and all I saw was a small blob that I referred to as my nugget. Maybe you feel deep regret, maybe it was a confusing time, maybe you didn't care at all. Published Jul 29, 2015. Then I went into early menopause at 34 and never had kids. It cant be easy and its hurtful for the man youre suppose to be with to embed abortion in your head after telling you, you two could try again. However I was so sick I could barely make it to class and I was on the verge of going to the hospital for dehydration. I still wonder if o made the right decision. An Honest Letter About Abortion. I hope you are healing well and have found happiness in other ways, until one day you and your unborn baby see each other again. I dont want to let you go. Its killing me and Im crying every night. Don't listen to the voices saying it'll be easier when I'm gone. I was one l with you. I wanted to be your special child. It is killing me to know she is alive now and she wont be in a few days. The baby has been name Baby Amanda Marie, for the name Amanda means "she who ought to be loved." Just a few days before my 22nd birthday. That, and I literally broke up with him two days prior. Little Thing, I want you to be happy. I cant get the ultrasound picture or the thought of the potential of my baby out of my head. I dont have a strong conviction I can do this. Sometimes I wish I still had my baby. The Dublin Declaration , signed by over 1,000 medical professionals, states "As experienced practitioners and researchers in obstetrics and gynecology, we affirm that direct abortion - the. Its a hard decision, Hi there Im in the same situation, dont know what to do Im so sick ? When I had my daughter, he unfortunately couldnt be there and I raised her on my own until she was about 6 years old. Just like you, I too was in university. Wish I had a way to contact you personally. That is my "right." When we want our baby in womb then it is a baby. You are making the best decision for yourself at this point in time , I feel like I can relate and that give me a lil strength. I havent gotten pregnant the last 2 years since being off birth control and we already have two children as it is. I want a burrito. I know Im going to love him when he is here but in the time being I am just purely struggling. He started to be excited about the idea of starting a family with me and even though we were both stressed and both cried a lot.. we finally started having discussions about moving in together, getting better jobs finding a healthcare provider and all types of different things to prepare for our baby. Marni Fults. Im in the beginning of my nursing school. Well, I made it out alive. I cried so bad in the clinic and during the procedure that I still have nightmares and flashbacks often. Maybe you're frightened. I was accepted into the Montessori teacher training program two days prior. I was a late-in-life baby, the fourth child born when my mom was 42 in 1959. I think when we choose to do something like that we are so confused. Let me tell you some things about me. Keep the faith, you are not alone . I want to keep the baby but then i feel like maybe i should get an abortion and give myself this chance to truly start over and fresh and cut ties with him other than coparenting. I found out Im 6 weeks pregnant last week. I am totally against abortion. According to a webpage shared online by Crump, she has raised over $30,000 by Friday morning and will seek abortion care in North Carolina. I want to experience the excitement of my first day at school You will be in my thoughts and in my heart. I was literally petrified and afraid that no matter what I tried to do, what if I couldnt get it all in order before my baby got here? I wanted to give her grandchildren but that couldnt be my only reason for keeping the baby. Sometimes four days late, sometimes ten days you get the idea. Love to each of you xxxxxxxxx. It uses medicine or surgery to remove the embryo or fetus and placenta from the uterus. God will see you through. I recently just had my second abortion in 9 months . Just my thoughts ?? It is simply not a choice anyone wants to make. From the moment on, he has told me to get an abortion, that its not the time. I took the morning after pill and it failed. Im 11 weeks pregnant and Ive been dating a man for six months, I recently found out he is married but trying to get a divorce now, and hes been sleeping with her even when he knew I was pregnant. i feel deep in my heart that i made the wrong decision and if i tried again i know i would make it right. I was 36 yrs old, with a 3.5 yrs old girl who was born premature at week 28. The abortionist, he explains, after draining the uterus of the amniotic fluid that was protecting the child, inserts a claw-like instrument into the womb. I know that deep down hes right but its tearing me apart. You'll be grateful in eternity! Ive been employed in my feild for the past 4 years (student hires are highly sought in this feild). I cry all the time and I dont think Ill ever stop. A heart touching letter from a unborn baby to his mother baby is very happy when he is conceived and think that his mother is world's best mom and he share his happiness with his mother telling her all his activities and growing stages in her tummy but his parents decide to abort this baby.. prayatn Follow Advertisement Advertisement Recommended You definitely should keep it! I couldnt relate more to this paragraph you wrote: Family assumes that I just dont want to have them, when in reality, now, is that no one will have one with me. Just like our loved ones that preceded us. April S., New Jersey. She is a very strong woman but this is killing her slowly and I dont know how to help. Emotionally I suffered very badly for the first 2 weeks after the abortion (even to the point of being suicidal at times which is massively out of character for me) I was warned that pregnacy hormones around this time are at their strongest and to expect extreme moods. Im almost 6 weeks pregnant and although I want this baby, my husband does not. I feel my baby moving around and he doesnt understand what Im going through. I made the wrong choice. Hes verbally abusive, Ive spent all my money on him, no savings, lots of debt he makes the money I just make very little. It was hard but I dont regret it. I was so lonely and had nobody to talk to, man I really thought I was gonna go crazy when we took the break. It hurts the relationship with my husband, and we are about to be separated as we cannot communicate anymore. I saw a tarot reader 2 years ago and they brought him up and told me he forgave me and understood but I will never forgive myself. Yes, Im still pregnant. And wham, I unexpectedly end up pregnant, at 41. A letter from an unborn baby: fHi mom!, how are you?, I am doing just fine thanks. A 33-year-old mother of three from central Texas is escorted down the hall by a clinic administrator prior to getting an abortion, at Hope Medical Group for Women in Shreveport, La., in late 2021. This brings me to a previous pregnancy right before this in which I unfortunately miscarried. I am really struggling with the choice, even though I know it made most sense. I hope to someday get to tell my child face to face that I love them and Im sorry and they deserved better. I dont blame you for choosing to terminate your pregnancy. This hurts me down to my soul. I can hardly keep up with what I have now in my life. Do NOT submit poems here, instead go to the. I thought I was the problem. We hope to be parents one day and in honour of everything that has happened and what we have been through are doing everything we can to build a secure future so that when the time is right we are prepared. I texted two of my closest friends. Iv never felt worse in my whole life. And I dont feel well. Xoxo , AUSTRALIA, My boyfriend does not understand either. But deep down I know I might regret it if I abort it. I havent gone one day without thinking of it and causing major heartache, especially as family members and friend have now kids. I am so heartbroken. I found out I was pregnant the same day I was supposed to get an IUD inserted. He is the reason why I feel so motivated now, and although its not easy I wouldnt trade him for anything in the world. Even with his support, the support of my mother, sister, and friends.. I so badly want another baby, but I got pregnant by the wrong man at the wrong time. It helps to know I am not alone so thank you. Everyone at work keeps getting pregnant and every time I hurt. You will always be part of my heart, and I know that if someday I see two pink lines again, it will be you coming back to me. Tell your friends, I dont have many friends but Ive told my closest ones. Ive always wanted to be a mom, and already, I feel like I know you and yet I cant have you. We just signed the lease on our apartment and we were planning a trip to Italy for next summer. And chips. Im struggling with this decision. He made it clear that he did not want to have another child and truly no matter how bad I felt I wanted my baby, I did not want to do it by myself. Our hearts held firm. Now I m just waiting for my appointment but I feel so shit , down and gonna cry all the time. I then found out he was cheating on me big time it was scary my first thought was omg I cant have this monsters baby but I still carried on with the pregnancy a little unsure but over time he got more abusive, still treating me badly he started saying get rid of the baby idc . I hope that helps you make the right decision for you. I take his hand in mine and say, Everything thats happened the past few weeks doesnt matter anymore. more by Gabrielle Kruger. When I found out I was pregnant this time, I told him as we were arguing. Im seeking a medium to try reach her. Walgreens confirmed on March 2 that it will not distribute abortion pills in numerous statesincluding to some states where abortion is legalafter Republican attorneys general (AG) in 21 states told the company that it risked breaking federal law should it do so, Politico first reported.. Walgreens, the second-largest pharmacy chain in the United States, made the decision after receiving . It is a deep sorrow. Mothers should never be bored of their children. I was promoted to junior teacher two weeks ago. Rapid thoughts flooded my brain. I always thought she would come back to me somehow but only in my sleeping dreams and waking thoughts. I pray for all of you. I am now 48 and very much regret it and really dont know how to go on, but somehow we must. I got pregnant from one night with a guy that I went on a few dates with. I also didnt want to be a single mum of someone who did not want the child. I hope that there wasnt a little soul in there yet . I was literally in the same situation as you! I just had to message to empathise that this is not an easy decision and I understand the turmoil you are likely going through right now. She and her boyfriend are claiming that, if they could go back in time, they would have kept it. Oh and one more thing abortion doesnt affect your fertility. Im 18 and also 6 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend says I have to abort it. However he didnt. I love him so much it hurts I cant imagine my life without him, he filled a hole I didnt know I had. My heart would of gotten excited despite starting all over again. All other content on this website is Copyright 2006-2023 FFP Inc. All rights reserved. I am in the middle of mine as I type this. I know her from my dreams. This is just not exactly what I wanted for her and Im scared to lose my best friend in a sense because Im not quite ready to grow up that fast. But i wanted to say thank-you because your post was something i came across before i went in for my abortion and it brought me to tears. Days away from her second abortion, she wrote that getting the abortion is the "right decision for myself, my daughter, and this child." Before the devil knew me, God knew me, he created everything. I feel I will never stop crying and never stop being broken hearted at my loss. I pray for you, and your baby. Im sure it goes without saying from reading about my childhood but I have mental health issues and Im not sure having a child of my own is something I will ever be mentally ready for, but I certainly wasnt then.