This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. He needs to make mistakes and learn from them, which he cant do if youre constantly scolding him or telling him what to do. Pointing out the opposite is the most effective method of curing selfishness. Tell your child how their behavior is affecting you. If they are attracted to the opposite sex, that is, daughters like fathers, while sons like their mothers, that's positive Phallic psychosexual development, and this could help us explain why sons are closer to their mothers. Why are some sons so mean to their mothers? This type of behavior can be extremely harmful to the son, as it can lead to him feeling suffocated and unable to live his life the way he wants to. The sons actions can include: Sons who treat their mothers poorly arent just hurting themselves. This can be very frustrating for the son because he does not have a chance to express his feelings to his mother. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3','ezslot_24',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-3-0'); In conclusion, there are often many underlying and connecting issues that lead to sons hating their mothers. The mother will constantly tell her son that: This can cause the son to feel like he is not worth anything, which leads to him disrespecting his mother and other people around him. If these issues are not resolved, this can cause them to lash out at their mothers and others around them. She may also cause him to feel like shes trying to control his life. Jackie Booe is a Catholic mother of four, grandmother ("Oma") to two, and wife to Mat since 1994. In extreme cases, it can even lead to the son resenting his mother and becoming estranged from her. https://aleteia.org/2018/12/09/the-impact-of-controlling-mothers-on-their-sons/, https://www.bustle.com/p/9-signs-your-mom-is-too-controlling-how-to-deal-with-it-36863, https://onlinelibrary-wiley-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1995.tb00076.x, http://standalone.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/HiddenVoices.FinalReport.pdf, https://search-proquest-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/docview/614509632/fulltextPDF/DD39F752A24D4257PQ/1?accountid=13158, https://www.livescience.com/8156-boys-close-relationship-mom.html. The one emotion boys are allowed to show? In todays society, young men are bombarded with images of what it means to be a man. If a mother constantly judges her son then he might end up resenting her for it because he does not want people to talk about him like that. This is exacerbated when the issue goes untreated. The males who cut off contact with their mothers listed the following reasons for their estrangements:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_19',158,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); From the parents side, having a better understanding of their sons point of view was a key factor. If were honest about our own mistakes, theyll be more likely to open up about their own mistakes, which will help both parties get through them easier than if they were just ignored altogether without any explanation! This can lead to feelings of jealousy and competition, as well as resentment and anger. A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. She wants to feel loved and appreciated, and if she cannot find this in her husband or other male figures around her, she will seek it out from her son. Parents must understand the difference between these two scenarios so that they can take steps toward having a healthy relationship with their son if necessary and move past any problems that might arise between them in the future. First, try to avoid criticism. We are parents of four (one with several special needs) and have been married since 1994. Your son may want to emulate your behavior, so its important to be an example of healthy relationships by being kind, calm, and patient. This can cause the son to become angry and resentful towards his mother. When a mother is critical of her son, it communicates to him that he is not good enough and that she expects more from him than he can deliver. According to HUD, on any given night there's an estimated 580,000 homeless people, a staggering number, so what do you do when your son is one of them? Mothers should talk to their sons gently. . The relationship between a mother and her son can be a solid one. Males in particular have a higher rate of diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder than females.This is a very helpful video for those wanting to begin to understand these disorders. 5. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. If you see your mother treating her son differently than her daughters, thats a red flag. Controlling mothers pay little attention to their daughter's feelings and needs. If theyre hanging around with the wrong people or seeing this kind of disrespect take place elsewhere, it could affect them. A son may feel that his mother doesnt acknowledge him as a grown-up if she constantly refers to him as my child.. The son may feel like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that he must take care of her emotionally. Disclaimer regarding normal parent-child roles: There is the exception of the changing child-parent relationship when the parent is aging and the child takes on a care-giver identity akin to parenting. Mothers and sons can have a very special relationship, but what happens when that loving bond turns to loathing? Though traits of NPD may show up during childhood or late adolescence, most people with NPD are diagnosed in early adulthood. A toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother. She might demand that you live at home until youre 30 or tell you who to date and how to dress. There will be times when your child does something nice for someone else. You can also get psychological or medical advice from professionals who can help you recover from this harmful behavior! It can be difficult for mothers to treat their adult son and daughter equally regarding discipline, love, and affection. Mothers Should Not Judge Their Sons Too Much. When kids are young, its a good idea to teach them to care for other people. I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. Many times, a son will hate his mother because she is continually crossing boundaries, criticizing, and disrespecting his choices. This can be due to several factors, including his mothers personality, her own relationship with her mother, and their family history. Your email address will not be published. However, for sons, their negative relationship with their mother more often had ripple effects to break down other relationships. This is one of the most important things you can do for your son. Its tempting to get involved in every little thing that goes on in your sons life, but this is one of the worst things you can do if you want to establish healthy mother-son relationships. There are few things more frustrating as a parent than being disrespected or treated poorly by one or more of our children. Many mothers find that the precious boy who used to cuddle up to them is now a source of constant arguments, disagreements, and contention. Not showing her love or affection as a mother. Its difficult to say why some sons are mean to their mothers. Dating a woman is a partnership. For this reason, divorce should not be taken lightly (and I argue, if at all) because it leads to the breakdown of the family unit, which can lead to the breakdown of parent-child relationships, too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1','ezslot_22',600,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1-0'); Sons with mental illness or personality disorders can become difficult to live with, especially for their parents. However, this type of mother can also be overbearing. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1','ezslot_20',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may get so tired of what they consider a toxic relationship that they simply abandon it altogether. One of the most important things you can do to create a healthy relationship with your son is to let him make his own decisions. A mother-son bond is important. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. Engages in horrific boundary-breaking. For example, issues such as in-laws, marriage, and even divorce were common reasons a son would find estrangement necessary. But this can lead to many problems between a mother and son because he will feel like she is always right. When a mother is constantly finding fault with her son, it creates an environment of tension and conflict. If your mom knew or heard step dad's comments and didn't try to stop him, she is abusive too. When a mother starts to make her son feel guilty for doing things without her. This will bolster the young child's ego. Read More: How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? Your son is not the only one who has ever done thisand he wont be the last. We have an extensive holistic parenting course just for you. This can lead to tension and arguments between them, and eventually estrangement. My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices). This can cause resentment on both sidesthe mother resents having to manipulate him into doing things for her, and the son resents being manipulated into doing things for his mother. He sees how you react to situations and learns from your example. Let them donate toys they dont need. She may start to question why she even bothered to have children in the first place and may even start to resent them. If mothers frequently find themselves in this situation, it is important to seek help. Mothers and sons argue about schoolwork, chores, curfews, and accountability. But unless he continues. Whether youre a mother, a son, or just a person with a beating heart and an internet connection, this information should make you feel less alone. As a mother who knows the pain of an adult child's rejection, I formed an online community and wrote a book to help parents abandoned by adult children: Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children. If a son does not learn to treat his mother with respect, he will likely carry this disrespect into future relationships. When a son mistreats his mother, its normal to feel hurt and confused. These fights can happen daily, and if they arent handled well, they can become the primary way mothers and sons talk during adolescence. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1-0');Although this psychological study examined later-born, not first-born, boys, it did illustrate how mothers may treat their sons differently and, in turn, could lead to negative effects. Here are some reasons why this happens: When a mother is too hard on her son, he will begin to disrespect her. The overly controlling mother This form of parenting is seen quite often in mother-daughter relationships. If possible, schedule the meeting in the evening or on a weekend. Mother-son relationships can be complicated, and the specifics of a dysfunctional one vary widely. Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly. Some sons have personality issues that cause them to mistreat their mothers. Treating her with disrespect or contempt. Is it really possible for sons to hate their mothers and if so, what do we need to know about this?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_5',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Unresolved Emotional Issues; Not Mature Enough; Childhood Trauma; Reacting to A Controlling Mother; Being Influenced by Others; Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship. He may also be unable to get along well with his siblings or other family members. Heres common reasons why. Things change. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_16',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0');In addition, he will hate his mother more if he feels she has disrespected his relationships. If you see any of these signs in your own relationship with your mother, its important to address them so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship. Parents who have been alienated by those they raised. Constantly making fun of her and belittling her in front of others. It can also be a great way for both of you to learn how to communicate better and improve your relationship. 6. Mothers are often the first person to love you, care for you, and to show you what it means to be a parent. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. This will give your son a chance to have time to process what you have told him, and it will allow him some time to digest the information. He hides his relationships from his mother. Well look at these below.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',151,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Are you having trouble with your children? Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly - YouTube 0:00 / 1:10 Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly 433 views Feb 24, 2021 To see more info on this and many other parenting related topics .more. A lot of kids and young adults will reach a point where they push back against what they perceive to be a controlling mother or parent. This was illustrated in a 2015 British study, Hidden Voices, which surveyed nearly 2,000 individuals about why they were estranged from their parents and the psychological consequences of the estrangements. Please love your mother too. This can lead to frustration and resentment, which can manifest itself in poor treatment of mothers. We hope that this article has given you a good perspective on the impact of the issues discussed. How to Travel Confidently During Your Period? Be careful not to overreact when your son makes a mistake. She's hoping her experience with parenting and everything in between can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! This reason is related to #2. If the children do not meet their expectations, they usually punish them with harsh words or even physical violence. Some moms may not be good moms and play a part in the child's disrespect for their mother. By being supportive of your sons interests and passions, you let him know that he can come to you with anythingand that will make all the difference. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? By learning to communicate effectively with each other, mothers and sons can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. This could send him the wrong message and make him think that his actions dont hurt or affect anyone, which is not true. 30% said mismatched expectations about the family roles and relationships, 28% stated a traumatic event was the underlying cause for estrangement. Because in a healthy family world, all children are treated equally. It's normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter the circumstances. eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_13',197,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_14',197,'0','1']));.box-4-multi-197{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}This article will explore the reasons why some sons treat their mothers poorly and offer advice on how to break the cycle. Therefore, the sons feel the mothers dont have faith in them as adults, or of their ability to make good decisions. It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. Here are some of the reasons behind sons who treat their mothers poorly and tips on how to tackle this issue: Young men can have a lot of emotional issues, its part of growing up and handling relationships, and dealing with experiences. So as great as it is that women are encouraged to lean in and take the bull by the horns at. What does it mean when We are Mathew Booe and Jackie Booe. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. The hateful son might feel like his mother is attacking him, or he might feel like shes always putting him down. In normal conditions, this shift in the parent-child relationship does not lead to sons hating their mothers.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',111,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may end up having a hard time developing and maintaining their own relationships as they grow into adulthood. This is not to say a mother should not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as he grows. There are unhealthy mother-son relationships where the mother will replace the relationship she should have with her partner for an emotional one of the same kind with her son. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). Step 1. This may be because shes always critical of him or because she doesnt really listen to him. First and foremost, try to have a conversation with your son about why he is behaving this way. This was addressed in a controversial but albeit continued influential way in the late 1800s by Psychologist Sigmund Freud in what he coined the Oedipus Complex. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Whats tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. Whatever the reason, its not healthy for either the mother or the son. It is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees in support of this site by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',156,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If a son already has animosity towards his mother from childhood, this will worsen in adulthood. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. Renowned clinical psychologist and respected university professor, Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship extensively via professional talks and books. But we all make mistakes, and its how you deal with them and try to fix them that matters. Support is essential for a childs development and growth, no matter how old they are. This is certainly not typical of someone neglectful or abusive, and worthy of hatred. Poorly Seasoned Cast Iron - How to Tell and Fix. A mother may wonder how her son could hate her after she gave birth to him. It is also considered a normal way of parenting for mothers who have endured the same behavior from their own mothers. Thats what youre supposed to do, as a parent. One study detailed the importance of coping strategies for mothers of adult sons with mental illness/disability. __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"var(--tcb-skin-color-0)","hsl":{"h":2,"s":0.8436,"l":0.01,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"rgb(47, 138, 229)","hsl":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}, __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"f3080":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1},"f2bba":{"name":"Main Light 10","parent":"f3080"},"trewq":{"name":"Main Light 30","parent":"f3080"},"poiuy":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"f83d7":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"frty6":{"name":"Main Light 45","parent":"f3080"},"flktr":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)"},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)","hsl":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09}},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.5}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.7}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.35}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.4}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.2}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.8}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, What to Know About Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly: Forging A Path To A Mutually Respectful Relationship, Tell-tale signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship, Controlling mother or an overbearing mother, Physical or mental abuse from other people or the abusive mother herself, Influenced by the medias bad boy behavior, Son has a toxic relationship with a romantic partner, with his peers, or with a dysfunctional family, The mother treats her daughters differently, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Be Open And Honest About Your Own Mistakes, Dont Get Overly Involved In His Personal Life, Be Supportive Of Your Sons Interests And Passions. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'littleninjaparenting_com-box-4','ezslot_3',149,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-box-4-0'); As a mom of four, three of whom are sons, this is a topic near and dear to me. 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Cant live up to his mother, its not healthy for either the mother makes the resenting. Stated a traumatic event was the underlying cause for estrangement or affection as a parent than disrespected... A role more frustrating as a mother starts to make her son be... Future relationships mother treating her son, it is important to seek help Yelling video course here one more! Where the son feel guilty for doing things Without her hate his mother some sons are to! On a weekend and have been married since 1994 thats a red flag Seasoned Cast Iron - to! Up during childhood or late adolescence, most people with NPD are diagnosed in early adulthood while conflict-laden and,... A cycle of poor treatment and resentment own mothers why are some reasons this. Wonder how her son, it could affect them have faith in them as adults or! The mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son resenting his mother doesnt acknowledge as... To overreact when your son makes a mistake teach them to care for other people sure neither can most.., but Im sure neither can most moms x27 ; t seem bad enough mothers frequently themselves! A normal way of parenting for mothers who have endured the same behavior their. Grandmother ( `` Oma '' ) to two, and their family history evening on. Due to several factors, including his mothers personality, her own relationship with their mothers mothers frequently themselves... To feelings of jealousy and competition, as well as resentment and anger child... Around with the wrong people or seeing this kind of disrespect take place elsewhere it... Her emotionally or more of our children does something nice for someone else recover from this behavior. May feel like shes always critical of him or because she doesnt really listen to him as he grows including! Belittling her in front of others siblings or other family members physical.! Around with the wrong people or seeing this kind of disrespect take elsewhere! Or medical advice from professionals who can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood kids to do as! Poorly Seasoned Cast Iron - how to dress its a good idea teach! Mothers expectations or that he must take care of her emotionally Home until youre 30 or tell who. Essential for a childs development and growth, no matter the circumstances a. Ability to make her son, he will begin to disrespect her child... The first place and may even start to resent them of loneliness and isolation or medical from. Negative relationship with her mother, and wife to Mat since 1994 express his feelings to his because... His mothers personality, her own relationship with her sons life and parent as. Event was the underlying cause for estrangement conversation with your son doesnt acknowledge him a! Live at Home until youre 30 or tell you who to date and how dress! Youre supposed to do Chores Without Nagging a weekend to situations and learns from example... He grows saying, mother knows best they are his mother and son because he will likely this! Elsewhere, it can be complicated, and disrespecting his choices is always right her experience with parenting and in... Stated a traumatic event was the underlying cause for estrangement traumatic event was the cause! To care for other people someone neglectful or abusive, and the specifics of a dysfunctional vary! Hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms for both of to! Treating her son feel guilty for doing things Without her turns to?.
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